What would you say to people who tell you stuff like “You can’t take it all with you” or “You could die tomorrow” in response to saving money? I’m about to turn 30, have about $250k saved up. I’ve sacrificed all through my 20s – working hard, driving second-hand cars, wearing old clothes, not travelling or partying – so that I can retire in my 30s. My friends don’t seem to understand, so how do I explain my being financially responsible to them?
A wise person once wrote that we are better off when we listen twice as much as we speak.
I think that is worth considering when our friends, people who usually know us and our situation, offer their advice. I’m not saying our friends are always right or that we should always follow their suggestions. However, I think if you have multiple friends, independently telling you that they do not understand or don’t agree with your life choices then it’s worth taking some time to pause and reflect. Before you try to explain your frugal nature or your retirement plan to them, I’d suggest taking some time to consider their observations and question whether you want to continue on your current path or make adjustments.
Working hard, being frugal, being careful where you spend your money, and wanting to retire early are all good ideas. Financially, it’s nice to have more money than to have less. Saving money, having an emergency fund, and planning for the future are all good ideas. I think you’re making some wise choices in putting in an effort to save money and, presumably, invest in your future.
On the other hand, your friends have some good points, in context. For most of us, our lives benefit from finding a good balance. Working, saving money for the future, and sticking to a budget are all good ideas. However, I think you should also keep in mind that money is a tool (one tool of several) intended to help you lead the life you want. Money is useful and can help you acquire necessities and things you’ll enjoy to make your life better. But money is just one tool to help you build the life you want. It isn’t what is going to, on its own, give you an interesting or fulfilling life.
Most people get a sense of enjoyment or satisfaction from connecting with people, with travelling to new places, experiencing new things, forming close relationships, being exposed to new ideas or art, having mind-opening debates, trying new foods, and making a positive difference in the lives of others. Unless we’re very lucky, these things usually don’t happen on the job.
Most of the above activities I mentioned require money, at least in small amounts. Which would mean pushing back your retirement a little bit, maybe a few years. But I think it’s worth considering your quality of life now, not just your future self’s leisure time and quality of life later.
In other words, you’re showing some wisdom in having a plan, saving for retirement, and not wasting money on frivolously things. However, your friends are (with their own crude cliches) also sharing some wisdom of their own. They are aware there is more to a fulfilling life and their happiness than money and early retirement. They may be trying to point out that there is a happy balance to be struck between being “frivolous and poor” at one end of the spectrum versus “rich with no exciting life experiences” at the other.
I’m not suggesting you blow all your money on plane tickets to exotic locations, fast cars, and drinks at the clubs. I am suggesting that finding a middle ground where you’re still saving money while also getting out and enjoying what life has to offer today might be a worthwhile balance. Likewise, I think your friends should be striving for a similar balance. If they’re not saving any money now, in their 20s, life is going to be a lot harder for them in their later years.
This is the tricky part of managing finances: finding the right balance between being responsible and enjoying life, between enjoying life today and making sure your future is secure. Both are important and it can be a balance that takes time to find. I hope you’ll take some suggestions from your friends about living in the moment. And I also hope they’ll consider your advice regarding putting aside money for their future selves.
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